


Awkward confession compare

by Amaya_Ithilwen



Series: Collection of RVB-OneShots [9]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Canon-Typical Humor, Canon-typical jokes, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 01:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3339404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amaya_Ithilwen/pseuds/Amaya_Ithilwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tucker and Grif are confessing awkward things. Tucker really gets to know something from Grif.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awkward confession compare

Dexter Grif was sitting on an edge, high above the ground. Here was his hideout. He couldn’t be spotted from down there, if he was sitting or lying in the spot of grass that was growing up there. It was cozy and comfortable. The sun was shining – Like it always did – and warmed his skin. When he was up here, he often slipped out of his armor just to let the sun shine on his skin. He loved it and sometimes he was even able to pretend that he was back in Hawaii, laying in the grass in the front of their house. When he was concentrating enough, he would even hear the sound of the waves on the nearby beach.

 

Now he was actually smoking. He snuck away as his shift was over and before Sarge could harass him to other work. So he was up here, enjoying doing nothing.

 

Sarge had been really a pain in the ass lately. He was bossing them around even more than lately. Donut was as happy go lucky as usual, Lopez incomprehensible as always. Simmons was even more freaked out because of Lopez and tried to surpass him. Well, have fun with that. If he wasn’t kissing Sarge’s ass. But as predictable as he was, Grif could tell that he at the moment would be cleaning and scrubbing the Warthog with a teeth brush to impress Sarge. He did it always around this time. That guy really was a pain in the ass too. He often works until late in the night and would wake Grif up when he was coming in the room they were sharing together. And then that monotone sirring of his artificial lungs. It was driving Grif insane. It wasn’t loud per se, but it wasn’t as silent that whirring could easily ignore it. It was something in between what was keeping you from sleeping soundly. Fuck, he even dreamt of that annoying sound!

 

Breathing out the smoke of his, or Simmons, lungs, he watched how the smoke faded away. Sometimes he really wished to be a cloud. Just hanging in the sky, doing all day nothing, just annoying people which had no sun because of him. Yeah, really good life though.

 

“Again fled from Sarge?” “Yeah, fucking pain in the ass.” Retorted Grif as he heard Tucker coming from behind. He was the only besides him who knew the place up here. He also often seemed to come up here to find some peace and quiet to think over stuff. “Well, Wash isn’t that better. Always coming up with some weird training to make soldiers out of us. Caboose ruins these plans effectively every time.” With a groan the teal solder sat down beside the orange one, taking off his helmet an gloves.

 

“Cigarette?” “Nah, the way to my grave is tarred anyway.” “Okay.” Replied Grif and took the offered cigarette himself and lit it on. “You seemed in thoughts as I came up here.” “Yeah, thought about stuff. Donut hit the rock bottom today. But on a fucking awkward way. Made me think about my awkward situations.” “You mean that your girlfriend had a dick?” “Fuck you Tucker. But you’re right. Something in this direction. But you aren’t any better. According to Caboose you’re sleeping spread all limbs away and naked. Although I don’t believe that you’re wearing a Santa cap. And that yours and Washs relationship didn’t get any further. You still have lovers quarrel almost every day.”

 

“Hey, there’s nothing like friendship between me and Wash.” “Oh yeah? Didn’t sound to me as I walked in on you two as you argued.” “Because he sometimes also is a fucking pain in the ass. Sometimes I need to remind him that we aren’t Freelancers and not even soldiers. And Caboose said what about me sleeping?” Changed Tucker the subject to the other explanations of Grif. “That you are wearing a Santa Cap while sleeping? Or that you’re sleeping naked with your limbs stretched out?” “Yeah first thing. But that’s Caboose…” “Yep. But wait, that means second is true?” “What? Me sleeping naked? Hell yeah!”

 

“Urghs, that sounds gross!” “Hey it’s my room, I can do there what I want. It’s not my fault when Wash or Caboose are walking in every morning when I’m not awake and dressed.” “That’s really gross.” Repeated Grif while again taking a long sip from the gasper. “What you don’t sleep naked?” “Pal, it’s awkward enough to actually share my room with fucking kiss-ass in person. And he’s wearing Pyjama-shorts with Duffy Duck on it!” “Fuck yeah, that’s awkward! That’s even more awkward than having a girlfriend with a dick.” “Stop it you jerk. Don’t wanna know what awkward moments you had with your chicks. Sure enough of them.” “You betcha!” “And what?” “As if I’m going to tell you that.” Tucker only snorted to get the subject settled to not make Grif ask more questions.

There was a long silence in which Grif finished the cigarette, put it off in the ground beside him and took out a new one to light it on. He really enjoyed it. Sometimes he smoked four or five in a row, because he didn’t know when he would be able to smoke the next one. Sarge, Simmons and Donut were sometimes really making him almost go insane. So he enjoyed it to be up here and collect new strength to get through the day. He had a box up here, also well hidden from Tucker, where he had cigarettes in it, some alcohol, a magazine with hot Hawaiian chicks and a little piece of scrapped maroon metal. He got into the habit of taking stuff out and putting the box away as fast as possible. And he was right as Tucker often showed up and surely would booze away his liquor.

 

But then again he remembered something. Grinning he turned around to Tucker and asked: “So how about telling some stories? You made me curious.” “Forget it.” “So you have none?” “Sure I have.” “So tell me.” “No!”

 

This bickering went on some moments as Grif suddenly snickered lowly. “Bet you never had a girlfriend?” Tucker looked at him with an indignant expression, opening and closing his mouth several times, but then just shut his mouth and said nothing. “Seems like I hit bullseye. You didn’t had a chick until now, right?” Again Tucker said nothing and suddenly Grif again laughed, now louder as he suddenly got hit by realization as if Tex had hit him straight in the face.

 

“Oh my fucking god! You’re still a virgin! I don’t believe it! You’re still a virgin!” “Shut the fuck up you bastard!” “Our big bad Tucker is still a virgin!” “Shut up! I bet your biggest secret isn’t that better! It’s even more awkward!” “Well yeah, but I won’t ever tell you that! For sure!” Again there was a silence where Grif again lit a cigarette and tried to huff a ring of smoke into the air. Tucker beside him was mustering him and obviously thinking. “What, do I have something on my nose?” Asked Grif a bit pissed as he got fed up with Tuckers staring.

 

“Simmons.” “What Simmons? Is he coming? Where’s mister kiss-ass?” Immediately Grif was on his feet looking around if the maroon soldier was somewhere. Tucker beside him was smiling, his teeth shining in contrast to the dark skin. “Simmons is your secret, am I right?” “Why the fuck should he?” Grif tried to sound cool and laid back as usual but he failed. He was nervous. He had a big secret, yes, but if anyone would find out – Especially Simmons – He would be so a fucking goner. “You busted yourself with your reaction.” Told the teal soldier his comrade in a matter of fact. Grif only sighed in defeat. Tucker was too damn clever. He was the cleverest guy besides Wash and Simmons. He sometimes even wondered why he wasn't in the regular army with his sharp mind.

 

“Yeah okay, it is Simmons. Something against? In this fucking canyon without any opportunity even a tree seems fucking sexy.” Snapped the orange soldier, sitting back on the ground. “Sure, then I’m asking myself why you didn’t go after Donut?” “Do I look like I have a fetish?” “Obviously if you’re into Simmons.” “Oh come on! It’s not like we’re going to marry and have chil-“ Grif stopped himself in the middle of the phrase, biting his tongue hard, as he noticed that he was about to babble out his biggest secret. But it was too late. Tuckers grin got even wider and his dark eyes were sparkling with glee and curiosity. Grif knew he was done.

 

“What was that about getting marrying and having children?” “Well, once heard of a gay-couple who wanted to marry and have children together if the medicinal technology would be developed enough.” “Dude, we’re in the future. Wouldn’t surprise me if this technology is already developped.” But the tone in which Tucker spoke was pure amusement and scorn. Grif didn’t answer. His secret had leaked out, so he he was as good as dead. Fuck it, he couldshoot himself right here on this fucking spot, it wouldn’t matter! “Well, so I assume you also want to have children with Simmons, as you’re in love with him?”

 

Again Grif didn’t say a word. Even the cigarette in the corner of his mouth had a stale taste by now. But he didn’t take it out he was chewing away on the filter of the cigarette which would make his spoken words slurred anyway. “Wow, fuck Grif, that’s the worst and most awkward confession I ever heard.” “Hate’chu!”

 

Tucker only began to laugh loudly as the orange soldier turned in a deep crimson red and starred at the soldier of the blue team as if he wanted to kill him just by staring at him


End file.
